Being a good creative individual. Delving into a personal abyss, realizing in different ways how I am everything around me. Tuning myself, understanding as many nonvocal languages as I possibly can. Learning to speak them. Submitting to a flow, being impulsive and sometimes self-destructive. Gambling, taking risks, living on an edge, pushing the limit. Killing today for what tomorrow could be.
Being a good person. Realizing I am what I create and that the relationships I make, keep and suffer to sustain are the most vital, beautiful, satisfying, self-perpetuating creations in relation to me and those in my circle. Family. Absolutely un-glorious with no recognition and the most ambiguous set of rewards. Smiling, struggling, forgiving. Hard Work. Sacrifice. Being strong, being steady.
Life right now is figuring out how to be both, or rather melt the line between the two. But I refuse to believe I have to be a dysfunctional human being in order to tap fully into that Flow.
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This picture isn't mine but the chair is.
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